Thursday, 24 November 2016

‘Steamtech’ - Professor Klime's Pneumatic Bar Security System.


Professor Klime's
Pneumatic Bar Security System.

Herr Professor Klime, of the Faculty of Criminology at the Vienna City University, has invented a Simple yet Elegant means of Greatly Increasing the Security of any building.

The system uses a linked series of iron or steel bars which are placed in the usual sites around the building such as windows and openings which are Vulnerable to Assault by the Felonious Classes. Whilst the bars are of Sturdy enough construction to Resist a certain degree of attack, they are hollow in the centre. Through this space air is passed, under pressure, by the means of a steam powered pump.

This Pneumatic Draught is the key to the system. When one of the bars is cut into, the cut, upon reaching the internal tube produces an exit for the air pumped through the tube. This creates the Equivalent of a Steam Whistle, deafening the perpetrator and Alerting the occupants of the building and anyone in the vicinity to the attempted break in. The use of self-sealing retractable tubes, embedded into the door and its frame, which are engaged in the system when the door is locked gives Complete Security to the Whole Establishment.

For buildings which require Higher Levels of Security, such as Banks and Arsenals, a more expensive version is available in which all the tubes inside the iron bars are lined with lead piping. This allows the steam engine to be used to fill the space with Super Hot Steam without seriously corroding the iron. These bars, when cut, also act as a whistle but also Deliver a Jet of Scalding Hot Steam in the direction of the Would Be Burglar.

It would appear that the increasing use of such an Ingenious Device may see The End of this sort of Criminality in All Civilised Nations!